I had an excellent lunch. I hadn't seen my friend in over a year. While we chatted and ate, another opportunity sprang forth to use my gifting and calling. Man, I love when that happens! On the way home I felt so wonderful having encouraged my friend in the Lord.
This however segued into thoughts of the times I've missed not only an opportunity to be a blessing, but I miserably failed to see I was even being a curse! I sort of pride myself on being able to read people and be "all things to all men..." I can get along in any crowd: as long as I can read you.
The crux of my issue is some people mask. What is masking, E.? Exactly. Don't you think it is a big link in the issue I am talking about. I'll give more detail:
Apparently I have a "strong" personality. I'm loud, and opinionated, and passionate. This sometimes rubs people the wrong way. I get it. I can also work on it. If I can perceive it bothering a person. But when they "play" along, smile and nod - LAUGH - then I think we are hunky dory. In two incidences I recall the person turned around and complained excessively about me to others, but in my presence was just fine. Both times - years apart - I thought I'd found my new best friend! What a revelation to find not only did they not want to be friends, but abhorrently disliked me!
Now: is this my fault? Is it my issue that is at the heart of the matter? Or perhaps, this type of person doesn't want to deal with their own issues. Because, I am here to tell you, I work on myself ALLL the time. I have a lot of "Sanguine" in me, so I like to be petted and told I'm a good girl. If I want to be accepted, I have to be acceptable; I can accept that. But, what I can't - and don't want - to do, is change who I am. At some point, doesn't another person have some responsibility to work on themselves and learn to deal with various types of people? I like being accepted, but I don't have to be; I've worked a lot on that too. I can't compromise myself so much that now I am unhappy, just to satisfy your preferences.
I want people to see, that if they are a non-confrontive type person, they still can't "mask" to get out of a situation or avoid people. It only makes things worse. And it's confusing to the rest of us. You shouldn't complain about a person behind their back when you didn't give them a chance to work things out in person. These persons are never going to have really close relationships because people can't trust them.
What do you say, E.?
7/16/09
How we got started homeschooling
I get asked about this so often, I decided to post my response here.
In the spring before William was supposed to start school, Kelly got orders to Korea for a year and the kids and I weren't able to go with him. We knew we were being sent to NC after he got back from Korea. William had a very hard time while his dad was gone. And we realized that while having Daddy gone was a big stressor, starting a new school in the fall would be another, and moving and starting over again in a new community would be yet another. So even though I was hesitant, we made the decision to keep him home. Watching him learn was so much fun. We schooled when Steven napped and we loved our quality time together. We read, sang, colored, played, talked & snuggled.
After we got to NC, we learned our new "home" state was ranked 48 out of the 50 states with regard to education, and the county we were in was dead last. That made the decision to keep him home the following year easy.
When it came time for Steven to start school, I assumed they would both go to public school. But Kelly had figured out we were onto something great and knew we needed to continue. I knew we were onto something great, too, but I was intimidated by the thought of schooling two rambunctious boys. I was campaigning to put the oldest in school and keep the youngest at home. Kelly asked me why I didn't want to school both. I told him my reasons were threefold:
"They out-number me. They out-energize me. And if I'm not at the top of my A game, they'll form a coup and take over."
We were talking about the situation one day and Kelly said, "why don't you pray about it". Oh, I prayed about it, all right. I prayed God wouldn't make me do it. LOL My main concern was about both boys getting enough attention. I've since figured out that when Kelly suggests I 'pray about it', that's code for "I know what we should do but I'm going to give you time to hear what God's trying to tell you."
And about a week later Kelly's boss asked if he'd like to work the 2nd shift instead of first. This would have him going in at 3 in the afternoon and getting off at 11:30. Perfect opportunity for him to school one boy while I schooled the other. Which is exactly what we did that next year.
The following year though, we switched it up; he taught both boys math, art and science; I taught both boys English, geography and handwriting.
After that, we knew there was no turning back. We were enjoying spending our days together, going to lunch as a family, and learning together. It was working.
People asked me about socialization a lot. My response was usually, "Have you talked to my boys?" Those who did, never mentioned it again. Those who didn't let it go because the look that I gave them when I answered their question with my question probably let them know their question was bordering on the ridiculous.
Both boys will tell you their favorite thing about being schooled at home was the ability to manage their own schedules and the flexibility we had as a family. Kelly's done his share of time in Saudi Arabia and Iraq; teaching the boys at home meant that when Dad came back home, we could go out of town to a hotel and have a mini vacay as a family, no matter what time of year it was. Our schedule was ours. And we loved it.
Peace.
C.s story:
I was attending a church with lots of stay-at-home, homeschooling moms. That was all fine and good. But I couldn't afford to stay home, until my son's private school started to threaten to kick him out for being too hyper and uncontrollable according to their standards.
I'd been thinking more and more about wanting to quit and homeschool. But I was really just admiring all my church friends. Not until a real need came up in our own family did it become a personal conviction that I should stay-at-home and homeschool. My husband wasn't so sure about it all. But once we tried the psychologist and the psychiatrist and the Ritalin, and my son was still kicked out of school, my husband was open to "trying" it. That was the second half of first grade. We haven't looked back. Now he's 19. Never regretted it and have continued on with our other children.
Once you step into the world of homeschooling and start researching you find out so much to bolster your decision to do it and keep doing it. I did anyway. The "issues" my son deals with are more to do with his temperament and less to do with some sort of dissorder. Why should I teach him and allow him to use excuses for his weaknesses? We all have some. Some are more prominent than others and more bothersome to others. We have to work within the framework of ourselves instead of expecting everyone else to excuse us. That's my take on the epidemic of AD/HD especially with relation to education and socialization.
So, we have learned a lot through homeschooling: not just educationally, but socially, emotionally, spiritually, and perspectively. I highly recommend it to everyone.
In the spring before William was supposed to start school, Kelly got orders to Korea for a year and the kids and I weren't able to go with him. We knew we were being sent to NC after he got back from Korea. William had a very hard time while his dad was gone. And we realized that while having Daddy gone was a big stressor, starting a new school in the fall would be another, and moving and starting over again in a new community would be yet another. So even though I was hesitant, we made the decision to keep him home. Watching him learn was so much fun. We schooled when Steven napped and we loved our quality time together. We read, sang, colored, played, talked & snuggled.
After we got to NC, we learned our new "home" state was ranked 48 out of the 50 states with regard to education, and the county we were in was dead last. That made the decision to keep him home the following year easy.
When it came time for Steven to start school, I assumed they would both go to public school. But Kelly had figured out we were onto something great and knew we needed to continue. I knew we were onto something great, too, but I was intimidated by the thought of schooling two rambunctious boys. I was campaigning to put the oldest in school and keep the youngest at home. Kelly asked me why I didn't want to school both. I told him my reasons were threefold:
"They out-number me. They out-energize me. And if I'm not at the top of my A game, they'll form a coup and take over."
We were talking about the situation one day and Kelly said, "why don't you pray about it". Oh, I prayed about it, all right. I prayed God wouldn't make me do it. LOL My main concern was about both boys getting enough attention. I've since figured out that when Kelly suggests I 'pray about it', that's code for "I know what we should do but I'm going to give you time to hear what God's trying to tell you."
And about a week later Kelly's boss asked if he'd like to work the 2nd shift instead of first. This would have him going in at 3 in the afternoon and getting off at 11:30. Perfect opportunity for him to school one boy while I schooled the other. Which is exactly what we did that next year.
The following year though, we switched it up; he taught both boys math, art and science; I taught both boys English, geography and handwriting.
After that, we knew there was no turning back. We were enjoying spending our days together, going to lunch as a family, and learning together. It was working.
People asked me about socialization a lot. My response was usually, "Have you talked to my boys?" Those who did, never mentioned it again. Those who didn't let it go because the look that I gave them when I answered their question with my question probably let them know their question was bordering on the ridiculous.
Both boys will tell you their favorite thing about being schooled at home was the ability to manage their own schedules and the flexibility we had as a family. Kelly's done his share of time in Saudi Arabia and Iraq; teaching the boys at home meant that when Dad came back home, we could go out of town to a hotel and have a mini vacay as a family, no matter what time of year it was. Our schedule was ours. And we loved it.
Peace.
C.s story:
I was attending a church with lots of stay-at-home, homeschooling moms. That was all fine and good. But I couldn't afford to stay home, until my son's private school started to threaten to kick him out for being too hyper and uncontrollable according to their standards.
I'd been thinking more and more about wanting to quit and homeschool. But I was really just admiring all my church friends. Not until a real need came up in our own family did it become a personal conviction that I should stay-at-home and homeschool. My husband wasn't so sure about it all. But once we tried the psychologist and the psychiatrist and the Ritalin, and my son was still kicked out of school, my husband was open to "trying" it. That was the second half of first grade. We haven't looked back. Now he's 19. Never regretted it and have continued on with our other children.
Once you step into the world of homeschooling and start researching you find out so much to bolster your decision to do it and keep doing it. I did anyway. The "issues" my son deals with are more to do with his temperament and less to do with some sort of dissorder. Why should I teach him and allow him to use excuses for his weaknesses? We all have some. Some are more prominent than others and more bothersome to others. We have to work within the framework of ourselves instead of expecting everyone else to excuse us. That's my take on the epidemic of AD/HD especially with relation to education and socialization.
So, we have learned a lot through homeschooling: not just educationally, but socially, emotionally, spiritually, and perspectively. I highly recommend it to everyone.
5/25/09
Christen the ship!
Our maiden voyage begins! We are here exploring the waters of thought, wondering, and musing. Sometimes the waters may be rocky and rough, and sometimes maybe even peaceful and calm. But in it all I hope others will join our journey into thinking about our times and the events surrounding our lives.
Kicking Off
We've been talking about writing together for quite some time and now we're finally up and running.
I'm excited.
And I'm going to use the latest slang cheer to celebrate.
w00t!
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